My Horrible Story
[20:32] Panic: On the way to Sydney, sitting across from me on the train, was this guy...
[20:32] Panic: High on something; probably ice...
[20:32] Kinoko: (I don't even know what that is)
[20:33] Panic: And at one point I looked over and he was masturbating.
[20:33] Kinoko: ... Wow.
[20:33] Panic: His pink, slippery sausage all out.
[20:33] Kinoko: That... is a sight.
[20:34] Kinoko: I nearly choked from laughing!
[20:34] Panic: It was a packed carriage but no-one else saw; they were all facing different directions or whatever.
[20:35] Panic: For a second I wasn't sure what to do, but I decided he could not be allowed to continue, so I told him off loudly and clearly, and he exited the train at the next stop.
[20:36] Kinoko: Haha! That is amazing, what did you say?
[20:40] Panic: Ice is apparently the popular thing right now, and it's one of those drugs that makes you horny as well as stupid.

I looked him in the eye and commanded, "Put it away, you fucking pervert!"

And he did so, but he was not remorseful, and he mumbled something like, "What did you say?"

"I said, Put it away, you fucking pervert! And it's a good thing you did!"

And then he mumbled something else and I got back to writing notes.

In retrospect I should have fucking punched him, but it's not the sort of thing you're prepared for.

[20:41] Kinoko: No, I think it's pretty cool you said what you did
[20:41] Kinoko: I'm not sure WHAT I would have done
[20:42] Panic: Well I couldn't have him finishing the job, could I?
[20:42] Kinoko: Certainly not! :)
[20:42] Panic: It's bad enough when people vomit on trains.
[20:45] Panic: When he came on, I thought he might be high, because apart from looking like a fuckwit, he had this stupid grin on his face.

He stretched out on a three-seater, his sneakers on the seat, and he had some sort of newspaper, but rather than reading it, he just grinned stupidly at each page, as he pulled it from the newspaper and it slid onto the floor. Seemed pretty satisfied with himself.
[20:45] Panic: "A job well done!"
[20:45] Panic: Then he just lay there, leaning against the window, grinning at me and whatever.
[20:48] Panic: So I got on with my notes, and after a while I saw movement out the corner of my eye, and I thought, "He must be scratching himself; he can't be..." But I looked over and he was.

Sitting up now, his disgusting willy sticking out of his track pants.
[20:48] Kinoko: >_<
[20:48] Panic: Behind him, a group of happy young asian travellers, oblivious. (I played Mario Kart with them later on.)
[20:49] Kinoko: That's incredible, that none else noticed!
[20:49] Panic: Well they would have heard me tell him off, but if they intuited from that what was going on, why would they look?
[20:50] Kinoko: Yeah, it's just a weird situation to imagin
[20:51] Panic: It was horrible. I could have gone my whole life without seeing another guy masturbating, thank you.
[20:51] Panic: What a worthless piece of shit. I should have broken his nose.

Ah well. Next time.