Total Gamer scans -- Part the Last (part two)
ARE YOU READY LET'S GO!!!

So we had this character called Tim, who came to Total Gamer one month as a work experience kid, and never escaped. We made him do the last page in the magazine, the 'Next Month' page. Here's an example:





Another 'Gamebrain'; probably the most openly contemptuous of them all...



This next one is one of my favourite things we ever published. (It's one of Dan's, for the record.) We had a feature called 'Gaming Grudge Match', which was basically, "Who would win, in a fight between Videogame Character X and Videogame Character Y?" It was a very popular feature with the kids, but of course we got sick of it sometimes and played silly buggers with it. Behold the silly bugger to end all silly buggers:



It makes me happy, that that was printed in an actual magazine, that you could buy in actual shops. And it wasn't a humour magazine -- people weren't necessarily expecting to read shit like that. That's what makes it properly funny.

Here's another page by Tim:



And that's all I've got for you.

I hope you enjoyed this little retrospective. I hope you are thinking to yourself, "Man, those guys, Patrick and Dan, they made a good and nice magazine about videogames. I wish they could have a magazine about videogames again -- or better yet, a website! I would read it every day and tell all my friends about it."

It would certainly be a worthwhile website, this theoretical website that maybe you are wishing for right now. Kotaku could certainly suck its balls, were it to exist.

Oh, if only!